| new stuff |
[10:55pm] |
lets see ill get right to the point of this entry... tonite for church it was an all-worship service. one of the bands that makes the vineyard CD's came and played for us. they were really awesome and as much as i enjoy regular service, id like to do this more often. i liked it a lot cuz it was one and a half hours to get my mind off of everything... last week was a really busy week, schoolwork-wise, and its probably the toughest ive had yest at U of I. this weekend i also spent time working on a HUGE project thats going to consume almost all my time the next three weeks after thanksgiving. so then today was sunday. i slept in, watched DA BEARS! (by the way, 6-3 this year so far), played some football with some friends, ate dinner, and went to church. then the band led us in worship for a long time. i just got my mind off of everything and connected with God. everything is right during worship. i cant describe it. its like my rejuvination every week. and instead of only part of the service being worship, tonite it was the whole thing, and probably the best i have felt spiritually in a while. at college, there are so many distractions to keep ur mind off of God. i'm not gonna lie. but tonite just gave me that feeling you get like after a retreat. that sense of new life and purpose. so im going to try harder to make sure even when things get busy and parties get going, i remember what my real purpose is in life. there, ill make it short and sweet by stopping here.
THANKSGIVING WEEK NEXT WEEK!!! lets hang out!!!
- Kyle
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| my birthday! |
[4:51pm] |
so im gonna be 19 friday! woo hoo!
so this means i can get into bars in Champaign. and there was much rejoicing... ehh.
have a GREAT day! i certainly will!
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[9:23pm] |
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this weekend has been fun. got to see people, which was nice. football game was bad though. and next weekend i come home for the first time since ive been here at U of I.
i dont really know anything right now. i dont know what i want to do, or better yet, what i should do. first of all, i have some interviews coming up with some internship where i spend the summer managing my own painting buisness. i would do advertising, marketing, taking phone calls, hiring painters, etc. at first it sounded kind of crazy, but the company that does this takes care of a lot of the major things. the guy i meet with the other day said that 95% of their interns handle the job without any problems what-so-ever, and that the average intern made about $9,000 over the summer. he happened to make over $21,000. thats a LOT of money. $9,000 is enough for a semester of college. but the thing is, this internship has nothing to do with engineering. i dont know how helpful it will be for me than. i mean, the money would be helpful. i dont want money to be my objective though. i want to do something i enjoy for a living, not just something that pays a lot.
maybe im crazy, but it seems like everyone i know is in or just getting into a relationship. thats great. i always seem to end up liking or falling for the totally wrong girl. theres probably a whole lot of girls that would be right for me, but i'm an idiot and keep thinking that theres other girls that i like, and maybe it could work out with them even though theres no chance for it to work or the fact that there already seeing someone else. but then again, it wouldnt be a real entry if i didnt mention something about girl stuff.
so right now i dont know what i want to i want to do this summer in terms of that internship, i dont even know what i want to focus on as a career (general engineering, which is a little more buisness side of engineering, or audio engineering/music recording, or maybe a different kind of engineering like mechanical, or maybe something that has nothing to do with engineering), i dont know what the heck im looking for in a girlfriend, and i dont know if its worth my time and energy to try playing intermueral sports and writting music and being in a band and stuff like that. basically, i feel kinda lost. hopefully going home for the first time in 6 weeks this weekend will help rejuvinate me. i get to see a lot of people i havent seen in a while.
sleep time. i love all you peeeps. yeah, you know who you are.
- Kyle
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| whens the last time i did anything with this thing? |
[10:47pm] |
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switchfoot |
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so... an update? it's not like theres too much to talk about. right now, the best part about life is not really worring about anything or being stressed. no band, no soccer/track, no 7-hour school days, etc. still, i know the classes will start getting a little more difficult and there is going to be some more work. and it's not like i don't do anything, i exercise and play b-ball or football, i hang out with people, i try writing songs, stuff like that. but even when classes get tougher, i still dont want to stress about them. but then again... theres like midterms ALREADY next week. it seems like i just got here.
hmm... i just realized something last sunday. well, not realized, really, but more like remembered. there is one big way God connects to me. and it's through music and worship. like during church, the message and prayer and everthing was great. but all the time, i dont really feel his presence. it's like i just go through the motions. it's not until the band gets up there and starts playing and out of nowhere, i just get this feeling, like a shiver down my spine. and i just sing out with all that I am to Him. and that's the best I can describe it. it makes me want to cry sometimes. like, even when I'm praying, i dont get that feeling. i just stare at the celing most of the time and wonder if he's listening. but when I worship him, it's like He's right there. more often that not, if i have something i really need to pray about, i try and sing it to him as a song, or just find a song on my computer that has a message thats kinda the same as what im going through, and i listen to it and play it and make that my prayer. and its because of this that I'm thinkning more and more about focusing my secondary field towards something like audio engineering or music recording or something like that. maybe God has something in store for me through music.
now... for a COMPLETELY different subject... girls? yeah i think theres a small partof me that likes a lot of different girls. either i alrady know them or just met them since i've been here. some girls i think i still like that dont even go to U of I. but the thing is, i like a lot of girls each in a different way. i like a lot of little things about her, something else about that girl, and a few things about her, and blah blah blah. i usually tend to see the good in people more often than not, so it might not really be a LIKE like, but, yeah you know. I'm just not sure if I decide to go for one girl, then i realize that theres another girl that i like her for something else, and i dont know. it seems like a lame excuse, if it even qualifies as an excuse. im enjoying the meeting new people thing, but i miss having a girlfriend. well, in typical "Kyle" fashion, i think i just wont do anything about it right now. its like maybe i think that the perfect girl will just run into me and i wont have to look at all. but im pretty sure thats not gonna be the case. well, ive gone my whole life without a girlfriend (well, almost) and ive been totally fine. i think theres too many girls looking for a relationship. i think id rather just met someone who was just fine without a boyfriend, and we just stuff in common or just liked hanging out with each other. we would become friends, and then a little later, we would decide it'd be worth it to see what would happen if we started going out. like if people are just looking for a relationship, it's because they want things for themself. i think for a good relationship, you need someone that you can be totally yourself, and they can do the same. you could hang out with them as friends, but at the same time, be a great couple. that's why im not looking for a relationship as much as I'm looking for just friends, and we'll see what happens from there.
wow, this entry has been a lot longer than i thought it was going to be. i need some sleep so i dont sleep through all my classes again. i mean... um...
- Ky
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| just thinking |
[1:33am] |
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California - Hawk Nelson |
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i was reflecting over this past summer seeing as I'm leaving for U of I on sat. It was totally awesome in every way. I don't want it to end, but, at the same time I dont want it to drag any longer b/c I'm ready for college. I wish I could have hung out with more of you guys, but I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY trying to see how many ppl i can chill with one last time this summer before we all go to different schools.
But what I was really thinking about was goals. It seems like all my friends have some kind of driving force or motivation to achieve something great. I want to make sure I am also passionate in the pursuit of my goals. So, here's a list of things I want to accomplish my first semester of school:
- Get good grades. First semester sets the tone and the GPA for the following ones.
- Study hard. This kind of goes with the first goal, but I want to make sure I really understand all the material, not just focus on grades alone.
- Party hard. Take this as you will.
- Stay healthy. This will happen three ways:
1. Work out and run. I want to lift weights and increase strength, but at the same time make sure I'm putting in the miles. I'm thinking, depending on how the schedule is, lift 3-4 days a week and run 3-4 days a week. Maybe a tad ambitious, but we'll see.
2. Eat well. Cafeteria food isn't the best way to do this, but I want my diet to be a high calorie one. Mostly calories from complex carbs, protein, and healthy fats. I want to limit cholesterol and sodium, and eliminate unnecessary sugars, such as candy and pop. Well balanced diet, along with plenty of water and a Flintstone's vitamin to start the day right!
3. Don't be stupid. Take care of myself, I don't need to say much more than that.
- Avoid OR limit alcohol. I'm not sure right now if it will be an AVOID or a LIMIT.
- Be social. There are so many people going to U of I. I'm sure that there are TONS of students going there that are really cool and I'd like to become friends with. Sporting events, joining clubs, going out, etc are good ways to start.
- Have fun. Enough said.
- Continue to hold on to my values. I want to be living my life for Christ, no matter what others may think. The best way to witness to others isn't by talking the talk, but by walking the walk.
So it's a long list that will be tough to stick to at times. But, at the end of the semester (or maybe the year, who knows), I will review this entry and go through what I have accomplished and what I haven't. Then I can figure out what new goals I can set for myself. I know it feels like I'm spreading myself kind of thin. Lots of people would rather just focus on one goal and work really hard at just that one. But I'm up for the challenge. College is a whole new part in my life, and I want to make it worthwhile in EVERY way. I'm not paying $15,000 a year or whatever it is for nothing. I'm excited/scared. Change always is that way. Either way, I've done all I can do up to this point. In less than a week, I will be living life on my own, and nothing will be easily given to me. If I want anything, I'm going to have to earn it. That sounds pretty motivating if you ask me.
Well, I just realized it's 1:30 in the AM (I'm preparing for the college life lol). I need some sleep.
Peace to all of you cool dudes and dudettes. If you're going to college soon, too, I wish you all the best of luck. If you're still going to Maine West, HAHAHAHA!!! (jk) I wish you guys good luck, too. And seniors: Make you're last year of High School kick @$$!
- Kyle " `el Swifto!" Hand-Stand
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| A Day at the Beach! |
[2:26pm] |
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Last friday, Kyle finally got to go to the beach with his friends. Because of his grueling work hours at Target, Kyle never got to go with them... until now.
It was a nice day. Cloudy, not too hot, some wind off the lake, but still nice. It didn't matter to Kyle. He was ready for his first day at the beach this summer.
As he approached his friends, he was slightly suprised to see them all lying down. Kyle thought they would all be swimming or playing with a frisbee or football. "What are you guys doing?" Kyle asked. "We're tanning." explained May. "Come join us"
"Alright" Kyle said. "But I'm really thirsty. I think I'll have my energy drink I brought with". Kyle quickly gulped down the highly-caffeinated beverage and crushed the empty can in his hand.
It was only but a few minutes that Kyle realized how boring tanning can be. "So what, we just sit here?"
"Yes, Kyle" everyone told him. "This seems pointless, the sun isn't even out!" said Kyle.
Shortly after, Kyle became restless. He just couln't sit still for more than 30 seconds. "It must have been that energy drink."
Well, the sun had only been out for a few moments at a time, and Kyle just couldn't take it anymore. He jumped up shook off all the sand on him. "You guys wanna play football or something?" he asked. But everyone said no because they weren't done tanning yet. "Well, I can't tan. It's too boring. I need to do something else." Then Greg said to him, "Don't be a tanning wuss! NO tanning wusses!" Kyle replied, "Forget this, I'm going swimming!" as he walked away in disgust.
But before Kyle could make it to the shore, he came across an interesting sign:
Kyle thought about it. He didn't want to tan. He couldn't play any sports. Swimming was his last option. "Well, it's probably just suggestion or something. What makes it so dangerous, anyway?"
Kyle made up his mind. "I'm just going to have to take my chances in the water. It's better than just sitting there on the beach doing nothing." So he walked up to the lake.
It was very wavy, and Kyle felt the temperature of the water with his foot. It was cool, but very refreshing. Then he ran in.
Kyle was having the most fun than he had all day. Swimming in the lake with the waves crashing over him was the only was to live it up at the beach.
Well, it seemed to be all fun and games for Kyle. It was, that is, until Lifegaurd Lee spotted the hyper teenager swiming in the water that was clearly marked by the sign as a dangerous swimming area. As you can imagine, Lifegaurd Lee was not happy at all. He pointed Kyle out and yelled, "YOU! Get out of the water RIGHT NOW and come over here!"
Kyle slowly walked out of the lake right to Lifegaurd Lee. "Don't you see the sign?!? You can't swim here!" Kyle tried to play it cool. "Uhh... no. What sign?" Lifegaurd Lee responded, "The sign I saw you reading right before you jumped in the water." Kyle had to think quick. "Uhh, my friend threw the football in the water and I was going to get it."
"Yeah, SURE."
"I'm dyslexic and I couldn't read the sign!"
"Like I haven't heard that one before."
"I spilled mustard all over me and I was washing it off!"
"You're polluting the lake, then."
"That girl over there pushed me in because she wnated to get me in trouble!"
"Mmmhmm."
"I'm a male model and I'm here on a photo shoot!!!"
"Not a chance."
No excuse Kyle could ever come up with would fool Lifegaurd Lee.
"You're out of here!" Lifeguard Lee told Kyle. "Pack your things!" Kyle had no reason to go swimming in the danger area when he could have just been tanning with his friends. Sad, but wiser, Kyle took his bag and left the beach, promising himself he would take tanning more serioulsy next time he would come back.
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| Who Really Cares? |
[12:01am] |
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Yeah, I'm not angry and no I'm not upset
It's taken me awhile, but this is what I've learned:
emotional attachment is really not a threat
when I'm simply not concerned.
The things that I take on I soon shrug off
Cause I know no one will ever be content
with the way things are or with what they've got
So I've given up and now I'm just indifferent.
You will laugh at me like I'm not happy
With anything, anytime, anywhere.
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half, just doesn't care.
I must admit, all the words you spoke, I hated.
Cause I don't see just how I can be motivated
I'm left to break a sweat over a dying race.
It seems our fate is something we've already embraced.
Yeah, I'm not angry and no I'm not upset
It's taken me awhile, but this is what I've learned:
emotional attachment is really not a threat
when I'm simply not concerned.
You will laugh at me like I'm not happy
With anything, anytime, anywhere.
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half, just doesn't care.
Yeah, being apathetic's a pathetic way to be.
But I don't care, what matters to you does not matter to me.
Cause I don't care.
So take a wild guess
It's like I just couldn't care less
If all the things you find impressive
Just blew up and made those messes
That you'll frantically repair
Like it's a life or death affair.
And all the while you're unaware
For this, you really shouldn't care
But it's so hard to see the reality
That the end will be the end of things
And our hearts are all we'll get to bring
So let's go ahead and make them worth something.
You will laugh at me like I'm not happy
With anything, anytime, anywhere.
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half, just doesn't care.
You will laugh at me like I'm not happy
With anything, anytime, anywhere.
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half, just doesn't care.
I'm well aware that everything is a far cry from alright.
I'm well aware that all of us can, at times, be too uptight.
And possibly the remedy is a dose of apathy.
You point your finger at you
I'll point mine right back at me
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| A lot on my mind |
[10:53pm] |
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So right now I am watching Everybody Loves Raymond, eating some rice (i love rice it makes me wish i was asian), and listening to some Hawk Nelson. Besides all that, I've been thinking about some stuff. The kinda stuff that I never want to waste time thinking about, but I end up thinking about it no matter what. And that is, of course, girls. Well, not really girls, but having a girlfriend. It seems like so many people I know right now are in a relationship. Even hanging out with people that are going out and seeing them together kinda reminds me how great a relationship can be sometimes. Holding hands, buying each other presents, kissing, being there for each other, cuddling, all that good stuff. When I see so many people hooking up and doing those things, it makes me wish I just wish I had someone, too. And thing is, it's not like I don't think I can get a girlfriend. I think I could. But it's not like I just want anyone to be with. I'm not desperate. In reality, I'm fine without a girlfriend. I've got a lot of great friends that I always have good times with. Not only that, but I'm leaving for college in 2 months... I dont want to start something now that is going to end in that short of a time. I mean, if the right girl did come along now, and we could have a relationship that could survive the whole distance thing, then that would be great. It's just that 2 months seems like too little time to get a relationship serious enough to the point where we could continue to date while we were seperated. So basically, right now I'm in a place where I want to have a girlfriend because I miss all the little things, but I know I can't have a girlfriend because it's not the right time. I dont know, I really want to spend the summer hanging out with friends that I might not see anymore once I go to college. So I'm kinda in a pickle. Lol it's like the Seinfeld thing: friends with benefits. That's what I need right now! Lol that without the sex. But yeah that wouldn't work out well. So yeah this summer Im working at Target and anytime I'm not working I'd love to chill with you guys so give me a call. Hangin with friends will help me forget about this stuff. When I stay at home, I start looking for romance on MySpace, and that's unacceptable lol. WEll thats all I got. Night people
- Kyle
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| Prom!!! |
[11:10pm] |
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Well, yesterday was AWESOME. Too much to talk about. I'd post pics too but that requires a lot of work. Anyway, it was so much fun! The dance itself was sweet, I've never had that much fun at a dance before in my life. The people that were there and saw me, they know what i mean lol. It was amazing. Then Kirsten and I stopped at White Hen after to get some Starbucks stuff because Starbucks was closed. Then we went to After Prom. It was SO fun! Any underclassmen that might think about not going to prom (i dont know why not) should still go to after prom. All the blow-up obstcle courses, boxing ring, moonwalk, all that stuff was awesome. Then all the food and "gambling" to get free stuff was cool too. Kareokee was the best! Margaritaville, Arms Wide Open, Bohemian Rhapsody, and Humpty Dance! Great Times! Then the hypnotizing was absolutely ridiculous! I haven't laughed like that in a while. Yeah that's pretty much prom in a nutshell. I got home around 6 am and slept till around 3:30ish. Graduation is tomorrow. Excited for that, then the Minnesota trip! I can't wait cause I haven't fished in a while now. Anyway, that's about it.
We'll hang out this summer! Yes, you and me!
- Kyle
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| Prom |
[3:52pm] |
So this weekend I asked Kirsten to prom, finally. Every single idea I had always got ruined, and this one almost did too. Me and Ryan TPed her house friday night, we only had 6 rolls of TP lol. We did a really bad job. Kirsten came hime right as we were about to start, so we ran back to the car and hid for a while. After we TPed, I left a poster on the lawn that said " Kirsten, will you go to prom with me? - Kyle PS: If you say yes, I will clean it all up :) " Then after that it rained so it got all nasty. Then the next morning Kirst cleaned it all up and THEN read the poster. lol sorry about that... so then I went to her house a brought her flowers. Almost everything that could have gone wrong, did. Except for the important fact that she said yes. It's a big relief to know I'm going to prom with one of the most awesome girls I know. No offense to anyone else, but Kirsten rocks.
The conference track meet was friday also. WE took 2nd as a team which is pretty good, and my relay team took 1st even though i didn't run my fastest time. It's all good thought.
- Kyle
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